Climaxing sooner than you would like, often referred to as premature or rapid ejaculation, is an incredibly common experience. Despite how frequently it happens, it can leave you feeling frustrated, anxious, or disconnected from your own body, making it a difficult topic to talk about.
As part of my broader psychosexual and relationship talking therapy practice, I provide a confidential, professional, and entirely non-judgemental space to discuss what is happening in your body and your sex life. I am a BACP-accredited practitioner, an Advanced Accredited Gender, Sexuality and Relationship Diversities Therapist (AAGSRDT), and currently a student in training to become a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist (COSRT student member). I am not a medical professional.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Concerns around climaxing too quickly can manifest in different ways. You might find yourself:
- Ejaculating before, or within a minute or two of, penetration or sexual contact
- Feeling like you have little to no control over when you climax
- Using distraction techniques (like trying to think of something boring or stressful) that take you completely out of the moment
- Experiencing a cycle of anxiety, where worrying about lasting longer actually speeds up your physical response
- Avoiding sexual intimacy, dating, or new relationships because of the pressure
- Feeling a sense of guilt or disappointment, even if a partner is understanding
The importance of a medical check
The physical mechanisms behind ejaculation are complex and can sometimes be influenced by underlying health factors, such as prostate issues, hormonal imbalances, or the side effects of certain medications.
I am not a doctor or a medical professional, and talking therapy is not a medical treatment. Counselling is a non-medical profession. It is always important to consult your doctor to rule out any physical or medical causes for changes in your sexual function. Our work together is designed to sit alongside medical care, not replace it.
How psychosexual therapy can help
When you are worried about climaxing too quickly, sex can start to feel like a stressful performance rather than a shared, enjoyable experience. Often, the very anxiety surrounding the need to "last longer" triggers tension in the nervous system, which can actually accelerate your body's climax response.
In our sessions, we focus on:
- Unpacking the cycle of pressure and anxiety to help you feel more relaxed.
- Understanding how your body’s arousal and nervous system function.
- Identifying the physical cues that happen just before the "point of no return."
What this work actually involves
Our sessions are entirely talking therapy. There is absolutely no touch, no nudity, and no explicit requests made of you at any time.
As part of our work together, I will typically suggest practical exercises for you to try between our meetings. These exercises are focused on helping you build awareness of your body's arousal levels and learning how to regulate them. All practical exercises are done entirely privately by you, in your own time and at your own pace. We will then use our online sessions to talk through how the exercises went, what you noticed, and what to try next.
Please note: I currently only offer this work to individuals. If you are looking to attend sessions together with a partner, my practice will be opening for couples and partners next year.
If you would like to explore how talking therapy might help you feel more in control and less anxious around intimacy, please get in touch to arrange a free initial chat.