Struggling to reach an orgasm can feel incredibly isolating. In a society that often treats climaxing as the only measure of "successful" sex, finding it difficult—or impossible—to get there can leave you feeling broken, frustrated, or disconnected from your own body.
I am a BACP-accredited therapist, an Advanced Accredited Gender, Sexuality and Relationship Diversities Therapist (AAGSRDT), and currently a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist in training. I offer a confidential, professional, and completely non-judgemental space to explore what is getting in the way of your pleasure.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Orgasm difficulties (sometimes known as anorgasmia) are very common and can present in different ways. You might find yourself:
- Having never experienced an orgasm, whether alone or with a partner
- Finding that you used to be able to reach climax easily, but your body's response has changed
- Being able to climax when you are alone, but never during partnered sex
- "Spectatoring" - watching and overthinking your own performance rather than being present in your body
- Faking orgasms just to end the sexual encounter or to protect a partner's feelings
- Feeling intense pressure to perform, which turns sex into a source of anxiety rather than pleasure
- Experiencing physical arousal, but feeling a mental block that stops you from reaching a release
The importance of a medical check
Reaching an orgasm is a complex process that relies on a specific combination of blood flow, nerve signals, and hormones. Because of this, changes to your ability to climax can often be linked to underlying physical or medical factors—such as hormonal shifts, pelvic floor issues, or the side effects of certain medications (like antidepressants or hormonal contraception).
I am not a doctor, and psychosexual therapy is a talking therapy, not a medical treatment. If you are experiencing difficulties reaching orgasm, it is vital to consult your doctor to rule out any physical or medical causes. Our talking therapy is designed to work safely alongside your doctor's care, never instead of it.
How psychosexual therapy can help
When physical causes have been ruled out, or if you are managing the emotional impact of a medical condition, talking therapy offers a space to untangle the psychological side of pleasure.
Often, the sheer weight of expectation is the biggest barrier to orgasm. When you are desperately trying to reach a climax, your brain goes on high alert. This creates anxiety, which actively shuts down the nervous system's ability to let go and reach the threshold of orgasm.
In our sessions, we will focus on:
- Removing the "goal" of orgasm and taking the pressure off your sexual experiences.
- Unpicking any anxiety, body image concerns, or past experiences that might be acting as a mental block.
- Learning how your unique arousal system works, and what you actually need to feel safe and relaxed enough to let go.
What this therapy actually involves
Psychosexual therapy is strictly a talking therapy. Sessions are entirely conversation—there is absolutely no touch, no nudity, and no explicit requests made of you at any time.
Alongside our talking, I will usually suggest gentle, practical exercises for you to try. These are aimed at helping you reconnect with physical sensation without the pressure to perform or achieve a specific result. All practical exercises are carried out entirely privately by you, in your own time and at your own pace. We will then use our online sessions to talk through how the exercises went, what you learned, and how you felt.
Please note: I currently only offer this work to individuals. If you are navigating this alongside a partner and are looking for therapy together, my practice will be opening for couples and partners next year.
If you would like to explore how therapy might help ease the pressure around sex and help you reconnect with your body, please get in touch to arrange a free initial chat.